SILICON VALLEY - In what critics are calling "peak digital irony," popular mindfulness app ZenNow has introduced a new feature that sends notifications reminding users to stop looking at their phones.

The Digital Paradox

"We realized that people were spending so much time tracking their mindfulness on our app that they weren't actually being mindful," explained ZenNow CEO Mark Meditation. "So we created a notification system to solve the problem our app created in the first place."

Premium Features

The app's premium version includes increasingly passive-aggressive reminders such as "Still scrolling, huh?" and "That's an interesting way to achieve enlightenment."

Users can also opt in for the "Guilt Trip" package, which sends photos of disappointed Buddhist monks directly to their lock screen.

User Experience

"Yesterday, my phone buzzed to tell me to stop looking at my phone," reported beta tester Sarah Serenity. "When I checked the notification, it immediately sent another notification expressing disappointment in my choices."

Future Development

The company is now working on a feature that will automatically uninstall itself if users become too dependent on it, calling it "the ultimate act of digital detachment."